How To Meditate, Part 2: Beware the Dark Side

Hopefully, my last post left you with good tips which you've been able to utilize to unlock your great inner potential. Perhaps you've discovered on your own some of the extra levels of consciousness I'll be discussing here.  I'll give you some more tips to help maximize the benefits of your meditation, but I'll also be bringing more warnings -- if the subtitle didn't clue you in.

Of course, I can't go on without my standard disclaimer: do NOT believe a word I write here. Find out for yourself! The Internet and your local library will contain all of the sources from which I have gleaned my wisdom, and you can read all about it. But my wisdom is not your wisdom -- not yet, not until you have experienced for yourself the knowledge from which that wisdom is constructed.

As an additional disclaimer, I have to mention that my experience will hopefully not be your experience. I've led a hard life, and it shows in the physical and emotional scars I bear. The reason I write these advice blogs is so that you can learn something from the hard lessons I have learned so that you might avoid the same hardships and become wiser. But this will only work if you heed my words and THINK on them earnestly. "Those who can, do. Those who have done, teach."

"Yer off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters!"
-- Captain Hector Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of the Black Pearl

Human consciousness is composed of many overlapping layers. As you progress in your meditation efforts, you will discover these. (In high school, I conducted extensive research into neuroscience, and discovered scientific evidence backing this up. I might write more about that in the future.) As mentioned in the first part, awareness of self begins with the body. For most people, this awareness never goes beyond appearance, such as hair, makeup, clothes, et cetera. I highly recommend taking up a martial skill, such as karate or tae kwon do, or another physical discipline such as tai chi chuan or yoga, to increase your awareness of your body. The movement of your muscles and joints is coordinated by the cerebellum, the second-most ancient part of the brain. The most ancient part, the brain stem, controls your breathing, which is the most important discipline to practice. Working on your breathing will eventually give you access to the spinal column and reflexes, which can be better developed through the movement-based disciplines mentioned above. I can't really describe exactly what you need to do to accomplish this, but you will learn it with practice. There are far better guide books available elsewhere.

Beyond the physical level is the awareness of the emotions. This can be a very frightening level to plumb. Emotional awareness is a skill seldom taught in modern society, so when you begin to meditate on your feelings, you'll likely be straying into uncharted territory. "Here be dragons." As mentioned previously, you must not be afraid of this. Be prepared to feel fear, anger, depression, and other undesirable emotions as you replay scenes from your life, and allow yourself to feel those emotions. By experiencing them mindfully, you will begin to see how they work, and learn to control them. The carefully controlled environment of your meditation sessions are the best place to begin this awareness, but it will help if you can carry this mindfulness into your everyday life and examine your emotions as you experience them in situ. I can attest to the tremendous utility of this skill, as I've mastered my innate passion which so often expressed itself in uncontrollable rage.

I must point out that controlling your emotions is not the same as suppressing them. Suppression of emotion is incredibly unhealthy. The emotions are always lurking just below the surface of your consciousness, and the tendency is to brush them aside as you focus on the task at hand. This can work to a point, but emotions have energy, and that energy, when crushed back on itself through suppression, can build pressure ever higher until finally the emotions unleash themselves in a flood. Negative emotions are the ones most often suppressed, so this uncontrolled ecstasy of passion will likely be one of anger or sadness. The idea is to master your emotions or they will master you. This is part of the "dark side" of which is so often spoken in Star Wars lore. When you allow your emotions to run unchecked, you become enslaved by them, and your life will be subject to their random whims. Master them, the way you master your body through martial discipline, or your intellect through careful study.

"Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter!"
-- Yoda, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Speaking of the intellect, this is the next layer of your consciousness to explore, and one of the most important. Through the intellect, you grasp the physical world, master the tumultuous storm of your emotions, and begin to contemplate the higher mysteries. As you meditate, thoughts and images will float through your consciousness. Observe them, follow trains of thought, and see where they lead. Be mindful of the process by which your brain conducts these thoughts.

And be patient. Another path to the "dark side" is trying to rush your progress and get to that "spiritual center" you so desire. It is a noble goal, but it can only be reached by patient practice. Carefully manage your expectations. I've been practicing meditation for over a decade, and only just now feel competent enough to write this beginner's guide. You must manage your expectati8ons carefully and build up to loftier goals. Starting out, you'll likely spend at most a handful of minutes in meditation before the noise of your mind overwhelms you and you are forced to give up. But do not let that discourage you. Keep at it. The more you practice, the easier it will get to quiet your mind and begin to perceive the deeper parts of your consciousness. Trying to rush the process will only discourage you faster and instill a greater sense of hopelessness.

To exercise your intellect, try to make time for activities that make you think. Remember that there are two halves to your intellect, the analytical side and the creative side. My favorite simple analytical activites include crosswords and Sudoku, and I exercise my creativity with writing and sometimes drawing. Find what works best for you. Sometimes I get urges to study complex mathematics or bioenergetics. But I'm a science nerd, so such studies may not benefit you quite so much. Be bold and stretch the limits of your abilities. Do hard stuff. You'll find that your limitations melt away and you will be smarter and more capable as time goes on.

Filling your mind with intellectual pursuits will create more thought trains of increasing complexity. Observe them carefully. As time goes on, you'll find that you can observe your thoughts as you're going about your daily activities. Don't let this distract you! Be mindful of the moment. Remember the lesson on "presence" from Part One. Keep an eye on your internal activity, but not at the expense of your external activities. For instance, it is not advisable to observe your thoughts while driving or operating heavy machinery. (From one who knows.)

As you get better at observing your thoughts, you'll develop a sense of detachment from the thought process. You'll notice that the thoughts go on with or without your intervention, almost as if they are a separate entity. In fact, they are! Sort of. Your thoughts are still a part of you, like your body and emotions, but they exist at a different level than "you." The "you" to which I refer is the soul or spirit. It is in fact a higher level of consciousness. If you achieve this, congratulations! If not, keep at it and don't get discouraged. I'm still working at it, but I've gotten a few glimpses of this higher state of being within myself. I'll leave that for a later article, perhaps years down the road.

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more."-- Luke 12:48

Since this article is subtitled "Beware the Dark Side," I cannot close without mentioning another pitfall into which you may find yourself drawn. As I've mentioned several times already, self-control is a great virtue which you must practice, in everything you do, if you wish to achieve inner peace. To many people, the world is a frightening place, full of random happenings and unknowable dangers. The same with their inner life, the thoughts and emotions. Meditation is often viewed by such people as a means to achieve power and control. And it is. But power is only true power when it is applied to yourself. Otherwise, it is the vain posturing of a despot seeking to control his life by controlling the lives of those around him. Control must begin with yourself. Learn to control your body, your feelings, your thoughts, and you will begin to trust yourself. You'll find as your self-control increases that you will be more capable of handling any situation which presents itself to you. Look at me. I never tire of telling the story about how I became homeless after the Crash of 2008. This is a situation which most would find frightening, but I never was. I trusted myself to be able to handle the situation, through my physical and mental abilities. As a result, I weathered the storm and emerged victorious, now living in a nice warm house on the earnings from the excellent job I have. 

It's not so much that you will gain more control over the universe, but that you will be able to react with wisdom to a wider variety of circumstances. Control your self, and your circumstances cease to matter.

Do not seek to control your circumstances. The more power you exert over your surroundings, the greater the repercussions generated by your actions. Like a boulder dropped into a still lake, your power can spread outward and wreak destruction on everything around you, making your circumstances that much harder to control or even to react to. "You will know when you are calm, at peace, passive." Do not seek power, but rather peace. 

How To Meditate, Part 1

A lot of people have been asking me lately about meditation, and I thought I'd provide a little info and hopefully dispel some of the misconceptions surrounding it. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. I'm still learning myself, but those of you who have been around me for a while have seen the change in my attitudes and demeanor. You too can benefit, and it costs you only a few minutes a day.

I'm going to put my standard advice disclaimer at the top here: "Do NOT believe a word I say. Find out for yourself." I'm just spewing words here, and words are all they ever will be until they synchronize with something in your own experience and become wisdom IN YOU. Experience is the best teacher. I'm just a blogger. And the same goes for the rest of the world: trust nothing which is said to you -- even these very words -- until you have verified it for yourself. Especially anything from the Internet. <wink>

I have an additional disclaimer to add here. Meditation is not a practice which you should undertake lightly. Intense introspection can and will bring to your consciousness matters in your own life, and possibly the lives of others, which have been buried in an effort to avoid the pain and terror associated with them. It will reveal aspects of yourself which you may find difficult to accept and, without full acceptance of them, impossible to change. There was a period in my life when I avoided introspection because I was afraid and ashamed to face the dark side of my personality -- which was and still is very deep and very dark. Just remember that you are in full control of the choice of your actions. The past is fixed and unchangeable, but the future is not yet written, and you are in full control of the present. It takes courage to face the dark side, and not all can or even should face it. Certainly, you should never face it unprepared. So consider yourself warned. If you do not wish to face the bad choices of your past or the "demons" of your personality, then stop reading right now and preserve your innocence.

When most people think of "meditation," images come to mind of whisper-thin women in baggy pants and barely-there tops twisted up in lotus poses, chanting and possibly levitating. While I would certainly describe the experience as uplifting, it's hardly a Rising Meditation, nor does it involve pretzeling my increasingly inflexible body to any extent. In fact, I do most of my meditation silently in shavasana or "corpse pose," lying on my back with every muscle totally relaxed. Corpse pose is described by some practitioners of yoga as the easiest and hardest pose -- easy to get into, but hard to master. Don't worry about that for now, though.

"Concentrate. Focus.... Don't forget to breathe."
-- Miyagi Kesuke, The Karate Kid Part 2

Let's start with the basics as far as physical position. You should be completely comfortable when starting out. Find a comfortable seat in a quiet room or peaceful outdoor setting, away from noise and distractions. This will be particularly difficult for those of you who live in dense urban areas, but if you realize it or not you've probably already developed the ability to filter out the background noise of the city. If you still can't find peace from noise, using a spoken mantra may be helpful. I've never had any use for them myself, but that is because my mother taught me from an early age how to consciously tune out aural distractions, a problem from which she long suffered and graciously (sic) passed on to me. It is very important in the early stages to avoid distraction. You need to be able to concentrate on the task at hand. Clear your schedule, turn off your phone, send the kids outside to play. Eat a hearty snack, drink plenty of water, and take care of any other biological business. All you need is a few uninterrupted minutes.

The very first thing you need to do is control your breathing. Every part of your body and brain operates in circular operations known as rhythms. Breathe in, breathe out, rinse, repeat. Take in a nice deep breath, hold it a moment (or not), let it out slowly, and do it again. As your body settles down, your breathing will be quick and shallow as your liver works off your oxygen deficit, but soon you will be breathing deeper and longer. Allow it to settle into a regular rhythm, and focus on each breath. In some of the esoteric traditions, you also breathe energy along with air, circulating it through the chakras. You may utilize this or a related energy-handling technique, if you wish, but it's not necessary. The goal is to synchronize your mind with all of the rhythms of your body -- breathing, heartbeat, circulation of blood, even the action of your stomach and intestines. As your meditation practice progresses, you will become more aware of all these processes on a conscious level, as well as many other body processes. You'll feel minute air currents moving over your face, arms and legs. You'll be aware of the microscopic flexing and relaxing of your muscles as your body struggles to maintain its current posture. Sounds and scents will become clearer and sharper.

Next, you need to completely relax your body. Let your arms and legs rest comfortably, lean back and let your back and neck assume a natural posture. Let your entire body become as limp as possible. (This is why I meditate in shavasana.) You may feel tense and anxious, your muscles may be rigid, your head or neck may hurt a little, and you may hear ringing in your ears. If so, try tensing then relaxing each muscle starting with your feet, working up each leg, up your torso, along each arm, and up your neck into your face. Practice this several times a day and you will become more aware of each muscle group, how it feels and acts, and how to control it better. Not only will this exercise help you to relax, but it will also (slowly) improve your balance and posture and add grace to your movements.

(For you sci-fi buffs, these physical exercises are akin to the Control abilities of the Jedi or the prana-bindu training of the Bene Gesserit. Life may imitate art, but these concepts are taken from millennia-old practices from the Far East.)

"First, you have to let go. You have to know -- not fear, know -- that some day, you are going to die."-- Tyler Durden, Fight Club

My introduction to meditation came after I began my transgender transition, when I began looking deeply inside to find my true self. I realized that most of my life had been lived inside an onion of acts and lies, and I had to peel back the layers to find the green shoot which is really me. My practice matured during my semimonthly electrolysis appointments. I don't know if you've ever had a car battery hooked up to your lips, but if you have, God bless you. I discovered that I was able to expand on the introspection I was using in self-discovery to slow my body's reactions, placing myself into a trance to lessen the reaction to pain enough that I could remain still enough for the electrologist to do her work. (This, incidentally, is the quintessence of shavasana.) After the Crash of 2008, I found myself homeless. Living in a tent in the woods and occupied only by the daily labors of gathering wood and food, I discovered a form of "moving meditation," wherein every moment becomes a universe of sensation and emotion.

Therein lies the entire focus of meditation: presence. As you practice your meditation, you will become more fully present in the present moment. That may be a hard concept to grasp right now, but I'll show you ways to get there in a minute. Presence is all about maintaining focus on your present actions, your environment, and, more importantly, your mental state. Being aware of what your mind is doing and how it does it will give you a better sense of your self -- your consciousness. Being aware of the mere fact that you are aware is a wonderful experience in itself. Realizing your own awareness unlocks countless choices and places you more fully in control of your present. And that is the meaning of presence.

Stretch out your mind. A helpful exercise to develop a sense of this is to stand with your hands against a wall and push off. Then do the same thing, but in the middle of the room away from any obstacles. Notice the difference in the action of the muscles in your arms when doing both. There are two basic muscle actions, flexion and extension. During flexion, the muscles contract and harden, pulling with them the bones to which they are attached and moving entire limbs. During extension, the muscles soften and stretch automatically. Now hold your arms out and then let them fall to your sides. Take notice of how each muscle feels as you let go and they all extend. Now imagine doing that with your mind.

You may not be aware of it, but your brain operates much like a muscle, but instead of moving limbs and objects, it moves concepts. Every object you see in the world around you, every sound you hear, every situation you encounter, is codified in your brain as a concept. As you encounter problems and obstacles in your daily life, your brain formulates solutions and figuratively pushes back against those obstacles. This is done for the most part without conscious thought. So you find yourself turning the steering wheel to avoid a pothole, or adjusting your budget to account for an unexpected expense, or speaking a reasonable (or not so reasonable) retort to someone else's point in an argument. This is your brain flexing to push obstacles out of your way. While meditating, you need to have no perception of obstacles. This is why it is important to avoid distraction while meditating -- every distraction presents a problem against which your brain automatically flexes. You must feel safe and secure, everything needs to be in place and at rest. Your worries can wait for ten minutes or so.

You should practice this form of "Empty Meditation" for several minutes every day, working up to however long you want or can sustain. There is no hard goal, no competitions among practitioners to see who can sustain this state the longest. In fact, I've so far found little benefit in practicing Empty Meditation for longer than an hour.

Here comes another disclaimer. There is a certain human ability called empathy, which is the ability to judge the emotional states of the people around us. It is an ability which is present in everyone except sociopaths, and even those unfortunate souls can learn the ability through intense observation and rote learning. For most, empathy takes place by observing facial expression and body language. But there is a certain percentage of the population which is more highly sensitive to emotional energy and can perceive the mental and emotional states of others more deeply and more remotely. As you build presence through continued practice of Empty Meditation, you will become more and more familiar with your own mental and emotional states and will begin to separate your awareness of them from those of others. This process could be called self-realization, and can be disconcerting and even a bit frightening, especially for those who are highly sensitive empathically and/or have developed close attachments to certain other people. There can be a painful sense of loss associated with untangling your self from the selves of those around you, and suddenly perceiving the emotions, inner turmoil and unstructured thought of others can be at least annoying, if not distracting or even repugnant.

 For more tips on dealing with empathy and the effects mentioned, see Whose Stuff Is This? on Amazon (also available on Kindle), and for deeper development of your empathic ability, visit the Book Of Storms Series (BOSS) website."

"Through the Force, things you will see, other places. The future, the past, old friends long gone."
-- Yoda, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

For as long as I remember, I've had a rich fantasy life. In my youth I had access to training on developing my mental visualization skills, and can call to mind images and scenes from my life as well as anything I can imagine, in full color and with associated sound and music. This has resulted in a near-constant earworm, and the ability (of dubious utility) to identify a video clip of less than a second as being from a particular movie or television show. Through meditation, I have learned to control these phenomena to the point that they are no longer distracting. As you progress in your practice of meditation, sounds and images may begin to float into your consciousness. As stated in the second disclaimer above, these can sometimes be of incidents, real or imagined, which may be painful or terrifying to perceive. You must choose whether to face these experiences or to abandon meditation altogether. Not everyone is strong enough to survive encounters like this with their minds intact. The only advice I can give you is this: there is a specific reason you began meditating in the first place. Perhaps you've found yourself in increasing turmoil. Perhaps a friend or loved one has complained that you are cold and distant or flighty and unorganized. Perhaps you scare people with your sudden outbursts of rage or tears. I can't know the specific reason you want to meditate, but whatever it may be proceeds from one overarching desire: to be better. You want to improve yourself. Before you can do this, though, you must know yourself -- all of your self, from your loftiest aspirations to your deepest fears. Before you can panel the basement, you must clean it out. Don't hold anything back -- face the fear, the pain, the terror, and work past it. It helps to know Herbert's Litany Against Fear:

I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing......Only I will remain.

Despite what books and movies may say, no one has ever died from fear. Fright, perhaps, in those with preexisting circulation disorders, but not fear. Fear can preserve your life, but it can also prevent you from reaching your goals. Do not be afraid of fear. Do not let it paralyze you and keep you from what you want.

"You've taken your first step into a larger world."
-- Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: A New Hope

Now you know the basics of meditation. There is more, much, much more, which you can learn, but most of it is best learned on your own. I consider myself a mere beginner, but students can teach as well.  There are many, many excellent books and websites which can teach you the specifics and nuances of meditation, as well as ways to apply it to everyday situations. I will write more on the other two modes of meditation, the Moving Meditation and Rising Meditation, in later articles. But this should be enough to get you started. Have fun, and may the Force be with you.